Death Star: “In the past six decades, medicine has added about seven years to the average life span—less by saving young lives than by extending old ones, and often in states of ill health. In many cases, we’re prolonging the time it takes to die. A growing number of celebrity doctors, futurists, and so-called biohackers now argue that it doesn’t have to be this way.” So many people I know are so into this stuff, especially the advice of Peter Attia. But, aside from the basics like regular exercise and eating healthy, is much of it really based in science? Dhruv Khullar in The New Yorker: How to Die in Good Health.

+ Scam, Slam, Thank You Gram: “When the scammer insists they marry in Nigeria, a place he says he’s never been, Kitboga drops the act. ‘Interesting, ’cause all of your IP addresses are there,’ Kitboga says on a livestream, his voice now deeper, after switching off a voice changer.” To make sure grandmas like his don’t get conned, he scams the scammers.

+ Container Unsealed: “The massive container ship that caused the deadly collapse of a Baltimore bridge experienced apparent electrical issues before it left port but set out anyway.” Now the FBI is investigating.

+ Scheff’s Kiss: “Golf is a sport obsessed with numbers and records to the point of concerning disassociation, but this week, one stat sticks out above the others. By bagging his second green jacket, the 27-year-old Scheffler becomes the fourth-youngest player to prevail at the Masters multiple times. The three ahead of him? Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, and Seve Ballesteros. How’s that for rarefied air?” Scottie Scheffler Has Become Golf’s Most Pleasant Destroyer. And from ESPN: The inevitability of Scottie Scheffler winning the 2024 Masters. (On Sunday, even when it seemed close, it also seemed over.)

+ Hit the Bricks: “Los Angeles citizens can rest easy knowing that a criminal theft ring is no longer stalking the city’s retail stores to feed a Lego black market. That’s because the California Highway Patrol announced this week that it had arrested four people it accused of swiping what police estimated was ‘approximately $300,000’ worth of Lego sets.” (Cut to the scene in the prison yard where an ominous looking criminal asks, “So what are you in for?”)

+ Bean Counters: “The researchers, hoping to learn more about the plants to better protect them from pests and climate change, found that the species emerged around 600,000 years ago through natural crossbreeding of two other coffee species.” Your morning coffee may be more than a half million years old. (No problem, just add a little more half and half.)