Space Overlords, Searching for Bill Jones
The future starts with a foam party. That’s one of the realities of living in a new world where our quest to seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly go where no man has gone before, is being determined not by governments, elected officials, philosophers, or even highly logical Vulcans, but instead by billionaires (one might be a trillionaire), who range from unlikeable to unhinged. As it seems with markets, politics, and just about everything else these days, the rest of us Earthlings are left to choose which billionaire to back, and hope our billionaire is better than their billionaire. When it comes to the space race, only two are really in contention: Musk vs. Bezos. Our story begins with one of them living the high life on the high seas, yes, covered in foam. “The Adriatic has been crossed by Odysseus and Caesar, by Venetian fleets and Napoleon’s navy, by countless men bent on dominating the world. It has seen its share of courage and folly. But one day in June 2025, off the island of Cres, it witnessed something genuinely new: a man worth $240 billion standing waist-deep in bubbles on the deck of a $500 million yacht, wearing a white bucket hat.” Josh Tyrangiel in The Atlantic: Choose Your Overlord. “Together, in fierce competition, these two billionaires are in the early stages of a race to vertically integrate the galaxy—a process that involves rockets, moon landings, enormous satellite constellations, and space-based data centers running AI models fueled by computing power that no terrestrial supplier can match. Both say they hope to preserve human life from the specter of climate change and expand mankind’s understanding of the universe. Both would also like to dominate a market that, unlike every other market they’ve previously conquered, has no ceiling and few established rules.” (Maybe they’ll be more prepared since Earth seems to have fewer and fewer established rules these days…)
+ “Scientists believe there are planets outside our solar system where life is even more abundant and sustainable.” NYT (Gift Article): Worlds More Habitable Than Earth? They’re Out There.
Keeping Up with the Jones
“In August, President Trump directed the Navy to figure out how to return to using steam catapults on aircraft carriers to hurl fighter jets into the air. For U.S. military officials, the order marked the return of an old foe: Bill Jones. Who? Exactly. Trump has described the man as a “catapulter” who served in the Navy for 25 years and loves the smell of steam. Jones convinced Trump the old technology was superior to modern methods of launching jets, the president said. The incident sent Navy leaders searching for Jones to figure out what he said that prompted the president to demand an overhaul of one of the most expensive weapons programs in history. They never found him, according to defense officials. But they’re still dealing with the consequences of the mystery sailor and his chance encounter with the president.” We think you know how weird it is, but we really don’t. The story of Trump’s order to abandon an electromagnetic system to launch planes from carriers using steam catapults serves as an apt metaphor for our current state of fly-by-night decision-making. As with so many decisions, the order came from the top. Then everyone else had to try to piece together the reasons behind the order. You could blame Bill Jones. If you could find him. WSJ (Gift Article): The Mystery of the Unknown Sailor Who Inspired Trump to Shake Up the Navy. (Alt link.)
‘Foyled Again
“We have asked Ambassador Guilfoyle to resign.” That was the announcement made by new White House press secretary Katie Zacharia on her first day on the job. Kimberly Guilfoyle, U.S. ambassador to Greece, resigns amid misconduct allegations. (How out of favor with this administration do you need to be to get forced out for misconduct, including embarrassing international behavior and an effort to skim a few bucks while on the job? It’s like getting fired from a baseball team for wearing a hat.)
+ And with that, we welcome our newest member of the administration, a devoted “fan,” who is a conspiracy theorist, rabidly anti-choice, and a lawyer. Well, maybe a lawyer. NPR: New White House press secretary a ‘devoted fan’ of Trump and MAGA.
+ “Popular Information searched for evidence in all 50 states, plus D.C., that Zacharia was admitted to practice law anywhere — and found none.” For evidence, the White House Press Office referred them to Trump’s Truth Social post. Trump’s new press secretary, Katie Zacharia, claims she’s a lawyer. Is she?
To Russia With Love
“President Trump proffered sanctions relief for Russian diesel fuel. He publicly called for Ukraine to get a new leader. And he pressured Kyiv to stop a strike campaign against Russian oil facilities that has damaged the Russian economy. Mr. Putin, in return, offered more war.”
+ As I explained yesterday, this is The Art of the Kneel.
+ NYT (Gift Article): U.K. and Europe Recoil From Trump’s Diesel Deal With Putin. Enemies rejoice. Allies recoil. Welcome to the new world disorder.
+ A funny thing happened after Ukraine knocked out Yandex’s biggest data centers. Much of the bot traffic that amplifies hate and falsities dramatically dropped.
+ Meanwhile: North Korea’s Kim showcases missile capable of reaching US as Trump signals possible meeting.
Extra, Extra
Wham Bam Thank You Cam: “As U.S. and Israeli forces bombed Iran early this year, a poultry farmer in northern Israel decided to check on his chickens. When he launched the app on his phone for the webcam outside his coop, he was alarmed to see that its language had been switched to Arabic. He contacted Israel’s National Cyber Directorate, which found that hackers had taken control of the Chinese-made camera. They weren’t interested in chickens.” WSJ (Gift Article): Video Cameras Are Everywhere—and Now They Are Being Hacked for War.
+ Tehran’s Cannon Fodder: “For three generations, the cause of destroying Israel has attracted the support of dictators, militias, and movements far more readily than the cause of building Palestine. Being anti-Israel is not the same as being pro-Palestine. Too often, it has been the opposite.” Fighting Israel to the Last Palestinian. “Tehran’s campaign to destroy Israel has immiserated the people it purported to help and strengthened the Israeli right.”
+ Waiting to Exhale: “It’s a notable shift in a country where marijuana policy has generally moved toward greater legalization. Massachusetts could become a test of whether voters are willing to revisit an established cannabis market.” Marijuana Is On The Ballot In 2026. The Debate Has Changed.
+ Reverse Robinhood: “To hear the Trump administration tell it, the SNAP program is under siege by well-heeled recipients of food stamps. Vice President JD Vance, upon being named ‘Fraud Czar’ this spring, said: ‘There are people who have Lamborghinis who currently receive SNAP benefits.'” Well, there is a lot of theft in the SNAP program. Just not the kind JD is talking about. ProPublica: Scammers Are Stealing Millions From Food Stamp Recipients.
+ Rolling Nightmare: Georgia police identify man who died after falling off Six Flags ride. “The incident comes weeks after Six Flags Magic Mountain in California closed its X2 roller coaster over lawsuits alleging riders suffered brain injuries.”
+ RJ Mitte: Bryan Cranston Mourns ‘Breaking Bad’ Son RJ Mitte: ‘I’ll Miss You, Son.’
+ And We’re On the Error: An Ad Targeting Susan Collins’s Opponent Airs in the Wrong Portland.
Bottom of the News
Butt, seriously folks… “Forget sleepmaxxing and cold plunging: smoking is the new lifestyle flex among AI researchers.” Palantir CTO says some AI researchers are taking up smoking because they expect AI to cure cancer. (These are the people we just decided to let self-regulate the future of humanity.)
