Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Antony, Lancelot and Guinevere, Ross and Rachel, Jim and Pam, Donald and Kim Jong Un. Yes, our republic is facing a seemingly endless stress test, but it’s Valentine’s Day, and I’d have to have a heart of (Roger) stone to lead with politics. Instead, we’ll begin with something that has caused even more psychic stress, blind devotion, and wanton cheating than politics: Love! Let’s start with the thoroughly modern relationship of Matt and Victoria: “In addition to having been married for two years, Matt and Victoria make their living posting videos to TikTok.” Meet the Couples Who Tiktok Together: “Giving Her Content Is My Love Language.” (I can relate. My wife and I both write newsletters and sometimes when she says, “Give it to me, baby!” I assume she means a either a pun or a really catchy subject line. And I’m usually right.)

+ In the mood for something a little more traditional? “In the era of online dating, one septuagenarian Irishman clings tight to a method passed down through the generations—and thousands of happy couples are luckier for it.” The Donkey Farmer’s Magical Matchmaking Book. (There’s no better preparation for matchmaking than a lifetime working with Jackasses…)

+ “These are real people, gaming the system, becoming—whether they know it or not—key figures in the mythology of their cities’ digital culture. Like the internet, they are confounding and scary and a little bit romantic. Like mayors and famous bodega cats, they are both hyper-local and larger than life.” The Atlantic: Tinder’s Most Notorious Men.

+ “But even in these dire and at times hopeless circumstances, people have managed to do the improbable — fall deeply in love.” Buzzfeed: Two Couples Shared What It Was Like Falling In Love At A Migrant Camp At The US–Mexico Border.

+ Curbed on couples who maintain separate residences. When living apart keeps you together. (My wife and I are trying something a little like this. We live in the same house, but we only communicate via DMs.)

+ “What if I told you that in Australia, a mouselike marsupial called antechinus breeds so manically during its three-week mating season that the males bleed internally and go blind, until every male lies dead? And what if I told you that this isn’t the reason the species is facing an existential threat?” (Uh, I’d probably tell you I miss my 20s). Wired: Antechinus has so much sex over three weeks that males go blind and die, yet it’s climate change that threatens it. (Having a life-threatening amount of sex and then worrying about climate change is the best description ever of what it’s really like to be a liberal…)

+ Vox: Could these drugs save your relationship? (Enough with the questions, just give us the drugs…)

+ Love in the time of coronavirus: Valentine’s Day on quarantined ship. (At least they all have good excuse for not getting their partner anything this year…)

+ Psychologists have discovered the specific dance moves that attract the opposite sex. (It makes sense this was discovered by shrinks, because my specific move is lying on the couch and talking about myself.)

+ Politico Magazine: Sex, Lies and Prenups: Donald Trump’s Timeless Wisdom on Love. “Dating is like being in Vietnam…It’s like war out there.” (This is especially true if one’s Vietnam experience consisted of reclining on a bed beneath a ceiling mirror getting a foot massage to relieve imaginary bone spurs.)

+ From Vice: Here Are Your Best 15 Stories About Breaking Up in Public. And from The Ringer: The 50 Greatest Breakup Songs of All Time.

+ And, finally, some personal news. We finally made the list of most adorable power couples in the Bay Area. Well, actually, my wife made it with her business partner, Amy. (At least my wife and I still have the p*rnhub power couple list…)