“There are no ads in Messenger Kids and your child’s information isn’t used for ads. It is free to download and there are no in-app purchases.” Facebook is launching a version of Messenger for kids, proving once and for all that life begins at FB’s conception of you as a customer.

+ Vice: “Having a shitty Monday? Hey, at least you haven’t been attacked by a bear, made a lucky escape from that bear, and then once again been attacked by that same bear.” (I read 75 tabs worth of news on my Monday. So we’ll call it a tie.)

+ “After the implosion charges went off, nothing happened.” The attempted implosion of Pontiac Silverdome failed spectacularly. (They should try whatever techniques are being used in Washington, DC. The implosion there is working like a charm.)