This could be the lede of the century. “A woman who threw her poo out of her date’s toilet window because it ‘would not flush’ had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it.” And amazingly, they had a second date. (Or, should I say, a date number two…)

+ Several nurses have been suspended for checking out the size of a corpse’s genitals. The oddest line in this story: “The sex organ scrutinizing lasted from March 31 to April 3.” It took four days? Damn, now I want a look…