America and New Zealand are the only places where drug companies can market their wares directly to consumers. And because of the way those ads are regulated, you often end up hearing an incredibly long list of side effects.

+ “If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a countdown.” Steve Martin once wrote the quintessential list of side effects.