The biggest upset from this year’s Super Bowl was that the game beat the commercials. After a season defined by concussion reports and elevator violence, advertisers played it decidedly safe. AdAge has a look at all the ads, from best to worst. Several of them were pretty depressing, including Nationwide’s already infamous commercial in which a young boy explains, “I’ll never learn to ride a bike. Or to get cooties … I couldn’t grow up, because I died from an accident.” On the plus side, if Accident Boy is from Seattle, at least he’ll never have to experience that last play call.

+ Aside from the Patriots, the evening’s big winner may have been Left Shark.