The Bottom of the News

McSweeney’s: “As you know, we took a lot of measurements this morning — height, weight, head circumference — and in most respects, your baby is doing great. There’s just one thing, and it’s not necessarily something to be concerned about, but we do need to talk about it: Your baby’s Klout score is in the 25th percentile.”

+ How the Bishop of Bling spent $43 million renovating his house.

+ Security guards outnumber high school teachers in the United States.

+ Quartz: How the phrase “no worries” infected American English. (I’m Jewish. It’s never even occurred to me to use that phrase.)

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