It’s a Dry Heat

Can’t stand the heat of starting another edition with the latest hellish news? Let’s change things up and begin with a story about a ritual that is the very definition of a heated competition. It’s an age-old practice that has become a remarkably hot industry. Strip down, grab a towel, and enter the hot air swirling through the Aufguss World Masters, “where spa enthusiasts twirl towels in saunas to distribute heat, scent, and showmanship.” Liz Plosser in GQ: Inside the Sauna Olympics (alt link). “For the next 15 minutes, Talmadge, 39, will whip a towel through thick, sticky air to push waves of heat and scent toward 200 naked strangers, including a six-person international jury. Aufguss is a sauna ritual; a performance is called a set, and the most elite of them combine choreography, scent, storytelling, steam, and stamina. A competitor—known as a sauna master—enters the sauna to music and places a scented snowball on the hot rocks, then disperses its aroma with their towel. For every one of three or four song changes, another snowball goes on the stove. Contestants are forbidden from drinking water while competing, and judges dock points if they appear fatigued. Within the span of his set, Talmage’s heart rate will hit about 195 beats per minute, according to the Whoop he wears on his left wrist.” (I never disrobe in public, and the vigorous thwacking of towels doesn’t make the idea sound any better. If I want a good sweat, I’ll open a few more tabs.)