Screwing the Fauooch
The latest pandemic is here. The condition seems permanent and the symptoms include lying, grandstanding, soul-selling, self-serving, sycophancy, unctuousness, a frustration that RFK Jr doesn’t seem crazy enough, a willful ignorance that deepens over time, and the appearance that one is stuck in a timeloop in which the year is always 2020. It’s hard to pinpoint the origins of the disease (lab leak or flab leak), but by now, its orange-ins are well established. Armchair scientists doing their own research have verified that the zoonotic plague was first transmitted from the Narcissista Malignus to (sad excuses for) humans via lips to ass contact, but forget about not touching, wearing masks, full body Purell soaks, or wiping down your Amazon boxes, the pathogen is now so wildly infectious that it can be spread over the air or even over the airwaves. Hydroxychloroquine, Ivermectin, UV light, and disinfectant injections have proven more harmful than beneficial, yet they—along with a limited edition commemorative coin—are available to anyone who wants to risk their life (or feel more connected to the Joe Rogan podcast). Just send a self-addressed stamped envelope, along with a large sack of crypto for deposit to World Liberty Financial, to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Some experts contend that the combination of honesty and critical thinking can cure the sickness, but so far, no one who has it has been willing to try. For those fortunately immune and merely witnessing the disease, Tylenol can address some of the symptoms (if you’re crazy enough to take Tylenol!)
+ The disease was on full display during a showboating Senate hearing in which Anthony Fauci in particular, and science in general, were attacked relentlessly. Fauci, “who spent nearly four decades as the government’s top infectious disease expert, refused on Wednesday to answer any questions from a Senate committee investigating the origins of Covid-19. Dr. Fauci accused the committee’s Republican chairman, Rand Paul, of having an ‘unhinged obsession with me,’ before repeatedly invoking his Fifth Amendment right not to incriminate himself.” While Fauci didn’t answer any questions, he did provide an opening statement that included this: “Given Senator Paul’s obvious obsession with calling for my prosecution, his repeated slanderous comments about me, and recently his publicly releasing my unredacted personal diary aimed at embarrassing and intimidating me, the only conclusion I can reach is that the sole reason he is calling me before this committee is to get me to say something that could vindicate his repeated public pledges that I end up, in his words, ‘behind bars.'” After being subjected to today’s hearings, he (and the rest of us) may have preferred the behind bars option. NYT (Gift Article): Fauci Repeatedly Refuses to Answer Senators’ Questions at Volatile Hearing. (Someone should go back and research who was president back then, and let Fauci talk all that science stuff.)
+ Senator Bernie Moreno asked Fauci: “Who the f-ck did you think you were?” (A puff of orange concealer came out of his mouth when he asked that question.)
+ Katherine J Wu in The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Unmaking of Anthony Fauci. “For decades, he has been one of the nation’s best-known and most-respected scientists. In the late 1960s, Fauci helped lead a team at the National Institutes of Health that repurposed cancer therapies as cures for several once-fatal rheumatological conditions. His later partnerships with AIDS activists and his push to accelerate experimental-drug trials for HIV helped transform the infection into a survivable condition. He went on to serve as a chief architect of PEPFAR, a global HIV-prevention-and-care program that has prevented an estimated 25 million deaths since 2003.” (So, obviously, he must be stopped.)
