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“He went into the bank with the cat in his arms, and he walked up to a bank employee and said, ‘Can you hold this?’ And then he wrote a note and handed it to a bank teller and it said, essentially, ‘Give me all your cash.'” Cat burglar steals kitten, tries to rob bank in Maryland, gets caught instead. (Anyone who thinks a cat would be a human’s accomplice should be able to get off with an insanity plea…)

+ WSJ (Gift Article): This Chicago Spirit Quadrupled Sales With Ads Likening It to Fermented Back Sweat. “Last year, a campaign called ‘Malört Tastes Like’ featured consumer comparisons to ‘fermented back sweat’ and ‘moist dumpster residue.'” Hey, at this point, whatever it takes to get a decent buzz…