Connecting the Daughts

While my teenage daughter occasionally prefers to text me from behind her closed door rather than suffer an in-person exchange, I was surprised by some of these statistics: “Fathers and daughters are more likely to become estranged than other pairs within the nuclear family. According to a 2022 study of national longitudinal data, roughly 28 percent of women in the U.S. are estranged from their dad; that’s only slightly higher than the 24 percent of sons estranged from their father but significantly higher than the 6.3 percent of children of any gender estranged from their mother. Even in cases where contact isn’t completely cut off, father-daughter relationships tend to be less close than other familial bonds.” The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Father-Daughter Divide. “At the root of the modern father-daughter divide seems to be a mismatch in expectations. Fathers, generally speaking, have for generations been less involved than mothers in their kids’ (and especially their daughters’) lives. But lots of children today expect more: more emotional support and more egalitarian treatment. Many fathers, though, appear to have struggled to adjust to their daughters’ expectations. The result isn’t a relationship that has suddenly ruptured so much as one that has failed to fully adapt.” (I’m not one to give parenting advice, but I’ve found it effective to be emotionally detached and intellectually unavailable toward my daughter and son in equal measure. I’m confident they know, deep down, that if they ever need a more substantial connection with me, they can always subscribe.)