A Drinking Problem

It’s 2025, so there’s a very good chance that during the next few minutes as you join me in catching up on the news, you’ll pause, sigh (or possibly moan), and mumble to yourself, “Damn, I need a drink.” But this need for a drink comes with a twist. At a moment in American history when one imagines we’d need to imbibe, swill, guzzle, pound, swig, sip, nip, swallow, quaff, booze, indulge, binge, chug, tank up, knock a few back, bend the elbow, and hit the bottle more than ever, we’re actually hardly drinking at all. In short, life sucks, but we don’t. “Fewer Americans are reporting that they drink alcohol amid a growing belief that even moderate alcohol consumption is a health risk, according to a Gallup poll released Wednesday … As concerns about health impacts rise, fewer Americans are reporting that they drink. The survey finds that 54% of U.S. adults say they drink alcoholic beverages such as liquor, wine or beer. That’s lower than at any other point in the past three decades.” It always seemed a little hard to believe that drinking was good for us. But it can’t be all that healthy consuming the news sober. Long story short, it looks like I picked the wrong era to stop sniffing glue.