Holy Cow
The admonishment Don’t have a cow is decidedly out of style. Having a cow, or just about anything associated with one, is currently experiencing a level of enthusiasm not seen since worshippers kowtowed to the Golden Calf. The current bovine goldmine has turned into a cash cow for those leading the cattle call, and consumers seem ready to pay up ’til the cows come home. Never mind that some of the hyped benefits sound like a load of bull. Yasmin Tayag in The Atlantic (Gift Article): Americans Are All In on Cow-Based Wellness. “Beef tallow (as both a moisturizer and an alternative to seed oils) is one of many cow-based products that have crowded the wellness market in the past five or so years. Beef-bone broth is a grocery-store staple. Demand for raw milk has grown, despite numerous cases of illness and warnings from public-health officials that drinking it can be fatal.” (Oh, don’t tell me you woke-ass, leftist, vegan, weaklings are afraid of a little fatal!).
+ There’s more. “In certain circles, raw cow organs—heart, liver, kidney—are prized superfoods. Target and Walmart sell supplements containing bovine collagen (a protein found in cowhide and bone) and colostrum (the rich liquid that mammals produce for their newborn offspring); they promise healthier skin, a happier gut, and stronger immunity, and come in flavors such as watermelon lime, lemon sorbet, and ‘valiant grape.’ You can buy cow-placenta pills for postpartum healing, or powdered bull testicle for testosterone support.” (If you really want to get the full impact—and don’t mind the occasional slightly judgemental look from ranch hands—eat them raw in the field, right off the animal.)
+ “The slightest interaction with clean-beauty Instagram can fill your feed with ads for beef-tallow lip balms, cleansing creams, sunscreen, and deodorants. (One brand even offers creamsicle-flavored beef-tallow personal lubricant, which is currently out of stock online.)” (I guess this explains why Moo is my safe word.)
+ And the cow tipping point comes earlier than you might imagine. WSJ (Gift Article): Meet the Parents Raising ‘Carnivore Babies,’ Swapping Puréed Fruit for Rib-Eye. “Rising interest in protein and concerns about ultraprocessed foods are causing some people to look at carnivore-style diets. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a carnivore champion, has loudly expressed his affinity for beef tallow.” (Hopefully these parents know that The Onion is a parody site. With headlines like this one, it’s hard to tell these days: RFK Jr. Mandates All Americans Drink Mysterious Glowing Liquid.)
