Wipe Out

“In 1982, a peculiar commercial aired on televisions across Japan. An actress in a pink floral dress and an updo drops paint on her hand and futilely attempts to wipe it off with toilet paper. She looks into the camera and asks: ‘Everyone, if your hands get dirty, you wash them, right?’ ‘It’s the same for your bottom,’ she continues. ‘Bottoms deserve to be washed, too.’ The commercial was advertising the Washlet, a new type of toilet seat with a then-unheard-of function: a small wand that extended from the back of the rim and sprayed water up. After its release, Toto, the Washlet’s maker, was deluged with calls and letters from viewers shocked by the concept. They were also angry that it was broadcast during evening prime time, when many were sitting down for dinner.” Well, they got over the shock and anger and their bottoms are all the better for it. “Washlet-style bidets, sold by Toto and a few smaller rivals, are a common feature in Japan’s offices and public restrooms and account for more than 80 percent of all household toilets.” Is the magic water wand finally catching on America. You bet your ass it is. NYT (Gift Article): The Rise of the Japanese Toilet. “Toto is selling more bidets in the United States. Toto’s president says not even tariffs will halt its advance.” (The article mentions a few celebrities and influencers, but it’s a safe bet that none of them has done as much to spread the Toto gospel as Howard Stern. He’s been consistently describing his use of the product in extremely specific terms for years.)