Opening Up a Can of Whoopasset
Welcome to what it feels like to be part of a Trump business. After years of relatively solid and stable stock market gains under Biden, this little piggy went to market and sent stock symbols crashing. In the course of one Rose Garden press conference (which may be the last time the word rose is associated with the US economy for a while), Gordon Wrecko turned the Dow from an IPO market to a Repo market; as global investors traded securities for insecurities. The first sign that today’s market mayhem would be bad was when I called my broker and his outgoing message was just him moaning over a Prince remix, “Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1929.” Liberation Day seemed more like ad-liberation day, as Trump made up a series of causes and potential outcomes to justify across the world tariffs that turned bullish to bullsh-t. And with that, The werewolf of Wall Street had cornered the market.
+ The latest from CNN: Stocks in major decline as Trump’s tariffs spark global trade war.
+ WSJ (Gift Article): The Day Trump’s Tariffs Shook Wall Street and Corporate America. “As I looked around, I sensed a feeling of nausea.” (Sounds like every day for a news curator.) It’s worth noting that the pain is being felt, in some cases especially acutely, by companies that deployed the strategy of making nice with the new president.
+ Bloomberg (Gift Article): Trump’s Tariffs Send Deliberate Shock to Heart of Global Economy. (One that will be felt as a tax for average consumers.)
+ “Gone are appeals to a larger purpose, mutual agreements or shared values. In this new order, the strongest powers determine the rules and enforce them through intimidation and bare-knuckled power.” NYT (Gift Article): Trump’s Trade War Risks Forfeiting America’s Economic Primacy.
+ “There will certainly be higher costs for American consumers and businesses. Tariffs are taxes … The cost in lost American influence will be considerable. Mr. Trump thinks the lure of the U.S. market and American military power are enough to bend countries to his will. But soft power also matters, and that includes being able to trust America’s word as a reliable ally and trading partner.” WSJ Editorial Board: Trump’s New Protectionist Age.
+ The investor class is being hit hard. But who will these tariffs hit the hardest? “A tariff is what we call a regressive tax because it pinches families at the bottom more than it does families at the top.”
+ NYT (Gift Article): Why Did Trump Spare Russia From New Tariffs?
+ While you’d probably be willing to bet a few rubles on the answer to that question, it’s a lot harder to answer this one. Why did we put tariffs on an island inhabited by penguins? Penguins, seals and other wildlife only inhabitants of 2 islands hit with Trump tariffs. And, Lesotho is going to stop getting over on us, once and for all. How jeans and diamonds pushed Lesotho to the top of Trump’s tariffs list.
+ How were some of these choices made? Critics suspect Trump’s weird tariff math came from chatbots. (I almost used a chatbot to write this edition until I realized words are the only thing I’m not at a loss for today.)
+ NextDraft will be off on tomorrow in observance of Opening Day.
