Royal Rx: “Kate, the Princess of Wales, said Friday she has cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy. Her condition was disclosed in a video message recorded on Wednesday and broadcast Friday, coming after weeks of speculation on social media about her whereabouts and health since she was hospitalized in January for unspecified abdominal surgery.” (Maybe we just leave her alone for a while?) This announcement comes just weeks after Charles reported that he has cancer.

+ House of Cards: With hours to spare before shutdown (as per usual) the House approved a $1.2 trillion package of spending bills. MTG responded to the sanity by filing a motion to oust House Speaker Mike Johnson. And it’s only gonna get crazier. “Speaker Mike Johnson is about to drop to a one-vote majority, as retiring Rep. Mike Gallagher has decided he will exit the House as soon as next month.”

+ Ceasefire Held Hostage: “The dispute was over the U.S. insistence on linking the ceasefire call to a hostage deal and condemnation of Hamas, rather than the unconditional ceasefire resolution demanded by Russia and China.” U.S. Gaza ceasefire resolution vetoed by China, Russia at UN Security Council.

+ Project Managers: “With contributions from former high-level Trump administration appointees and an advisory board that has grown to over 100 conservative organizations, proponents describe Project 2025 as the most sophisticated transition effort that has existed for conservatives. The initiative includes a manifesto devising a policy agenda for every department, numerous agencies and scores of offices throughout the federal government.” Leonard Leo, Koch networks pour millions into groups prepping for potential second Trump administration.

+ You Talking to Me? “A couple of years ago, I get this call: ‘Come down to Tribeca. You and Bobby are gonna meet in his office and read three scenes over Zoom for Barry Levinson in L.A.,’ ’ recalls Debra Messing of Will & Grace fame. She eventually landed the role as De Niro’s 1950s younger mob wife in Levinson’s upcoming film, Alto Knights. ‘I went to town. I memorized and analyzed the s— out of that script. So the day comes and I show up in period garb, with a Jackie-O updo and the red lipstick. Bob walks in wearing shorts and Crocs, takes one look at me and says, ‘Whaddya, going to a prom?’ Then we start. And three lines into the first scene, he starts to improvise. I’m like, Bob De Niro is improvising! What the f— am I gonna do?'” The excellent, sesame-noodle loving writer Andrew Corsello on Robert De Niro at 80.

+ Gator Aid: “The owner of an alligator recently seized by conservation officers in New York is fighting for its return, saying the reptile he named Albert and has shared a home with for more than three decades is a gentle giant that’s no danger to anyone.” A New York man’s pet alligator was seized after 30 years. Now, he wants Albert back.