“Spending all night slicing and dicing and flipping to applause, then reemerging into a world that values you only for your ability to conform to its preconceptions. Perhaps you think of yourself mainly in terms of how well you live up to others’ expectations, even if you never agreed to them, and fret about performing that role. Perhaps there’s barely room to think of what else you could — or want to — offer. Anyway, there is no show good enough to earn you acceptance. But still, you hope.” My Benihana, Myself. I find that even being a customer at Benihana takes an emotional toll. The first time is fine. But then every other time you, you’re under pressure to show enthusiasm for the same exact show you’ve seen many times. I feel like I’m the one performing. (Except when it comes to the onion volcano. Then my enthusiasm is really every time.)

+ Forget futuristic goggles. Apple’s upcoming iOS 17 iPhone software will stop autocorrecting swear words. The clusterduck is finally over.