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“May is dedicated to numerous outdoor activities—including grilling and cycling—and another pastime most commonly enjoyed indoors and away from prying eyes.” It’s National Masturbation Month. At least it’s one holiday greeting you don’t have to limit, to those who observe.

+ Speaking of foot longs, the California woman suing Subway for claiming its tuna products contain ingredients other than tuna wants to end her lawsuit because she is pregnant. Subway isn’t going to let her off so easy.

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