Let’s cut to the chase. Toilet flushers are too close to toilets. They should be more like long fuse bomb detonators that you engage only when you’re a safe distance from the blast. To review, let’s go back to the early days of Covid. Jacob Stern blows the lid off the story in The Atlantic: Whatever Happened to Toilet Plumes? “The short answer is that our fears have not been substantiated, but they weren’t entirely overblown either.”

+ No one was more ahead of this knowledge curve than the notable philosopher Vincent Barbarino who repeatedly offered the prescient guidance: “Of my case, toilet face.”