Don’t do the crime if you can’t to the time. But if you do the crime and must do the time, at least get some advice on how to do it the best way possible. And for that, you need to hire a prison consultant. “Maybe you’ve heard of these consultants recently. After a prominent felon is sentenced, a spate of stories often appear about these backstage fixers for the wealthy, consultants who can help get a client into prisons that one might prefer — say, a prison that has superior schooling or CrossFit-level gyms or lenient furlough policies or better-paying jobs or other refined specialties. The federal prison in Otisville, N.Y., for example, is also known as ‘federal Jewish heaven’ because of its good kosher food (decent gefilte fish, they say, and the rugelach’s not bad).” NYT: Want to Do Less Time? A Prison Consultant Might Be Able to Help.