Mr. T famously explained, “I don’t like magic – but I have been known to make guys disappear.” The truth is that it’s the absence of Mr. T that makes many guys feel like they’re disappearing. Which T are we talking about? Well, according to Mr. T, “To the women and children, T stands for tender. To the bad guys and thugs, it stands for tough.” Perhaps, but for the middle-aged guy, the T stands for testosterone and their bodies aren’t making as much of it anymore. The scientists refer to this as a natural decrease in the body’s ability to produce C19H28O2.

The modern man refers to it as Low T. But what if, just at the moment your T time is running out, you could get infused with a bag of T (T-bagging?) that would replenish your supply, propelling you from the low end of the teeter totter to the tip top? What if you could go from Low T to T-Rex? What if you could turn back time? “Testosterone decreases as men get older. And while the FDA has cautioned against using the hormone for anti-aging, rather than treating a specific disease, boosting testosterone … has become an increasingly fashionable way to fight back against the passage of time … Big names who have endorsed hormone therapy include Joe Rogan, who said in 2018 that he began testosterone replacement therapy when he was 40, claiming it ‘makes a big difference.’ Sylvester Stallone is on the record as a supporter: ‘Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it, because it increases the quality of your life,’ he told Time magazine. And last summer Dax Shepard revealed he had gained nearly 30 pounds and added muscle mass thanks to ‘heavy’ testosterone injections, but that the mental effects were the most pronounced. ‘Forget the body,’ he said. ‘Mentally, I love it, because it makes me far more on fire to be alive.'” I wasn’t on fire to be alive when I was in my 20s, but if fire is what you’re after, Andrew Zaleski has the story in GQ: How Testosterone Therapy Is Transforming Aging. Undoubtedly, all this reminds you of another Mr. T quote: “Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.” (I’m a liberal, Jewish, vegetarian. If I ever encounter a bear, I’ll probably just try to cuddle with it.)