Lynyrd Skynyrd famously asked, Ooooh that smell, Can’t you smell that smell? In my case, the current answer is no. I’m testing negative for omicron, but my greatly diminished sense of smell has not returned. I can’t say the scentual nose dive is all bad. I live with two beagles, three cats, and two teens who haven’t revised their hygiene protocol to its pre-pandemic level, so at least I get a break from what smells like teen spirit.

Even sans covid, when it comes to the ability to smell, everyone is not equal. For a serious nose job, you need to call in Nostrildamus: A South St. Paul guy named Chuck McGinley who – with his trusted Nasal Ranger™ – can always pass the smell test. Get a whiff of this gift article from NYT: Sometimes, Life Stinks. So He Invented the Nasal Ranger. “Spending even a short time with him, one can’t help but pick up bits of odor-related trivia. Who knew that most of the air we’re inhaling at any given moment passes through just one nostril or the other, not both? … Listen carefully, though, and he often addresses debates that transcend his day-to-day work, escaping the realm of science altogether and drifting toward the metaphysical: Is the human aversion to putrid smells nature, or nurture, or both? How can one measure a perception? And how do you give people the confidence in their noses that they have in their eyes and ears?” (While you’re reading this, I’m gonna finally take some time to not smell the roses.)