Uh, according to the BBC: Pope Francis says choosing pets over kids is selfish. “Today … we see a form of selfishness,” he told the audience. “We see that some people do not want to have a child … Sometimes they have one, and that’s it, but they have dogs and cats that take the place of children. This may make people laugh, but it is a reality.” (It won’t make people laugh. It will make them cringe. It also made my beagles shit in the house. So cut it out.)