“Polls have closed in Alaska’s Katmai National Park and Preserve, and the fattest bear of the year is… 480 Otis, a three-time champion of chonk. A dozen of the largest brown bears on Earth faced off during Fat Bear Week, an annual battle of bulk that rewards their pre-winter-hibernation gains.” (They should hold this competition for humans before and after the baseball playoffs.)

+ 21 Fun Salute: According to a recent study out of Harvard, Men Should Ejaculate at Least 21 Times a Month To Slash Their Prostate Cancer Risk. (This is the only time I can honestly say that I do a pretty good job watching my health.)

+ A 2,700-year-old toilet was found in Jerusalem. Holy shit.

+ Hall and Oats and Nine Inch Nails. Trust me.