“What we can tell you is his portfolio is up nearly 20% since he started trading in June, according to his Twitter account. And as of Sept. 12, Mr. Goxx was performing better than Bitcoin, the Nasdaq 100, Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway and the S&P 500.” Meet the Crypto-Trading Hamster.

+ Vice Tried Cup Noodle Sodas So You Don’t Have To. (I’m waiting for Cup Noodle Hard Seltzer.)