“Gorillas at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park tested positive for the novel coronavirus Monday, marking the first known case of the virus infecting any of the great apes — a group that includes gorillas, bonobos, chimps and orangutans.” (Meanwhile, after getting details about the virus, the gorillas calmly agreed to social distance, wear masks, and follow health guidelines.)

+ Jake Angeli (the dude with the facepaint and horns) hasn’t eaten since Friday because the detention facility won’t feed him all organic food. (Maybe his mom can bring him a sack lunch…)

+ A couple in Canada have been fined for breaking Covid curfew rules after the woman was caught “walking” her husband on a leash. Come on guys, get a room.