“The Today show segment where she made gazpacho and asked Telemundo’s Evi Sisko how to say ‘cucumber’ in English was particularly Roseanne Rosanadana, but in all fairness ‘cucumber’ is a ridiculous word compared to ‘pepino.’ Also, ‘how do you say in English? Cucumber?’ is even sexier than kissing a baby’s head while wearing lingerie.” Joel Stein: What Hilariagate Says About You.

+ I read a lot of headlines. I forget them instantly. This one is going to be stuck in my head. (Hopefully, not literally.) Ceiling fans recalled after reports of detaching blades.

+ Tube Feeding: The very real, totally bizarre bucatini shortage of 2020.