He went to the Isle of Man in search of his woman. The 28-year-old bought the vessel and set off on the journey of about 25 miles, which he thought would take 40 minutes. It ended up taking four hours, after which the guy walked an additional 15 miles. Here’s a headline that would make no sense before 2020, but makes perfect sense now. Man jailed for breaching Covid-19 laws after crossing Irish Sea on jet ski to visit girlfriend. (Of course, if this were really a 2020 story, the guy would have made the whole journey only to find his girlfriend in bed with another man, and still been sentenced to jail.)

+ “Jeff Jacobson: My mom grew up on the same street as Smokey Robinson in Detroit. So for Chanukah, I wanted to reunite them via Cameo. But the video takes a strange twist.” Aside from Adam Sandler’s song, this is the greatest Hanukkah thing I’ve ever seen.