Shh. Don’t make a sound. Your pie hole is a die hole. Speak softly. Hold your tongue. Cut the chatter. Silence is golden. Say nothing. Pipe down. Simmer down. Keep it down. Mum’s the word. Shut your trap, your face, and your mouth. Be quiet. Cut the cackle. Hush. Don’t speak. Hit the mute button. Button it. Zip it. Stifle it. Put a sock in it. Put a cork in it. Shut it up, shut it down … in short, STFU. Your talking, howling, screaming, speaking, chatting, shouting, shrieking, squawking, hollering, yelling, yowling, yelping, yawping, wailing, screeching, and over-modulating is spreading covid. So stop it. And, yes, I’m talking to you guy in restaurant pick-up line on the cell phone with your mask around your chin. Derek Thompson explains more (in writing, which doesn’t make a sound): “Talking less, more quietly, or not at all limits the manufacture of both large droplets and aerosols. When you breathe or whisper, your respiratory system doesn’t emit large droplets. Jimenez told me that, compared with yelling, quiet talking reduces aerosols by a factor of five; being completely silent reduces them by a factor of about 50. That means talking quietly, rather than yelling, reduces the risk of viral transmission by a degree comparable to properly wearing a mask.” Mask Up and Shut Up. (Alternatively, you can try my pandemic strategy: Read the news and scream into a pillow.)