End Times at Ridgemont High
Every parent I know wants to get Back to the Future, and would do anything to make this Superbad pandemic lift so we can tell districts to Bring it On and finally send our kids Back to School. Ferris Bueller has had enough days off. But you’d have to be Clueless not to see the Risky Business associated with an Election driven, Dazed and Confused return to school that is somehow magically going to turn a potential Dead Poet’s Society into a High School Musical. One doesn’t have to be a Real Genius, or even particularly Booksmart, to realize that the Dangerous Minds who clung to Weird Science and continue to refuse to follow the advice of their own experts are responsible for the Breakfast Club snub. Trump can Say Anything he wants, threaten to cut off federal funds, or try to blame our unreadiness on the Cruel Intentions of political opponents or the supposedly Mean Girls in the squad. But the truth is that this is a Grease fire of Porky’s own making. And Juno I’m right. Until we have the will to slow the pandemic and an actual plan (aside from All Cap tweets) to reopen schools, it’s bye, bye miss American Pie. We should have listened when we were told to Vote for Pedro.
+ Trump: “In Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and many other countries, SCHOOLS ARE OPEN WITH NO PROBLEMS.” I wonder if that has anything to do with them DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THE VIRUS? (P.S. In Germany, Denmark, Norway, and Sweden, it’s summer.)
+ Trump says Harvard’s move to online courses due to virus is ‘ridiculous.’ “We want to get our schools open, we want to get them open quickly, beautifully, in the fall.” (Bro, it may not be Autumn, but we’re in the fall right now.)
+ Harvard and MIT sue to block Trump’s plan to bar international students from the US if classes are online-only. Harvard president Larry Bacow: “The order came down without notice—its cruelty surpassed only by its recklessness.” (If Larry’s Good Will Hunting for something other than cruelty and recklessness with this administration, he’s going to be disappointed.)
