WaPo: “Single people in need should find a ‘cuddle buddy’ or ‘sex buddy’ with whom they can safely partner during the pandemic.” (As far as I can tell, people stuck at home with their whole families are the ones who could really use a cuddle at this point.)

+ Mel Magazine: Quarantine has revved back up the wholesome tradition of car sex. (Well, now my kids will know why we’re always out of gas even though my wife and I no longer have a commute.)