“In the post, she explains that ’30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole is the equivalent of a full day of sunlight with your clothes on,’ and that it is ‘an ancient Taoist practice that’s been around for a while!’ (Yes, because that is what ‘ancient’ means.)” Jezebel: Sunbathe Your Assh*le, for Wellness. (I leave the internet alone for a few days, and this is what happens…)

+ “Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.” Slate: Josh Brolin Tried ‘Perineum Sunning’ and It Completely Ruined His Day. (I’m guessing he’s joking. But if not, this helps explain why he was the perfect actor to play Thanos, a character who wanted to kill half the world.)

+ Dictionary dot com names Existential the 2019 Word of the Year. (I’d say the above story confirms that they made the right choice…)