In the age of the attention economy, with everyone from child influencers to social media-addicted world leaders vying to out-trend one another on the internet, it’s ironic that the person who has garnered the most intrigue hasn’t made a peep. As the country awaits the conclusion of the world’s most obsessed-over silent retreat, it’s worth mulling the possibility that the Special Counsel’s report could provide us more cliffhanger than closure. The New Yorker’s Adam Davidson on The Chaos That Could Come with the Mueller Report. “It seems highly possible that, instead of one text that addresses all of our questions, there will be multiple secondhand reports, of varying levels of trustworthiness, that will interact with our overwhelmed and fractured media and political system to spread more, not less, confusion. The greatest test of our democracy may be what happens next.”

+ There are many signs that the release of the report is imminent, not the least of which is the number of times a day we hear the words no collusion, witch hunt, and hoax. Trump intensifies effort to discredit Mueller report.

+ Rudy in WaPo: “It’s like waiting for a baby … If the report is good, I’ll give out cigars.” (If Rudy’s passing out cigars, most Americans will need bong.)

+ “In a city known for its leaks, Mueller has pulled off a rare feat. He has kept a tight lid on both his office and the evidence he was amassing in his highly sensitive investigation that has cast a cloud over Trump’s presidency.” How did Robert Mueller maintain a quiet place? Step one: Turn in your smartphones.

+ “One can buy Mueller paintings, prayer candles, valentines and ornaments. A necklace, earrings, keychains. A stuffed toy of Mueller in a Superman outfit, cross-stitch patterns, baby onesies — even an illustration of his haircut to hang on the wall.” Yes, people are getting a little too into this story. Take, for example, Alicia Barnett’s family. They dreamed of getting a new dog “that was smart, steady and a bit mysterious. She hoped their new addition could share a personality — and a name — with the man who has become her rather unlikely idol. And so, the Barnetts’ new chocolate Lab was christened Mueller.” (If you could only see how my goldfish George and Kellyanne are looking at me right now…)