“Twitter, as everyone knows, is Hell. Its most hellish aspect is a twofold, self-reinforcing contradiction: you know that you could leave at any time and you know that you will not. (Its pleasures, in this sense, are largely masochistic.) My relationship with the Web site, which has, for years now, been the platform most deeply embedded in my daily—hourly, minutely—routine, has come to feel increasingly perverse. It mostly seems to offer a relentless confirmation that everything is both as awful as possible and somehow getting worse.” Mark O’Connell sums things up pretty well in The New Yorker: The Deliberate Awfulness of Social Media.

+ With a special shoutout to my pal, Ninja Brian, here’s a breakthrough moment in the all-too short story of cool things happening to cool people: Ninja Sex Party performs “Danny Don’t You Know” on Conan.

+ And, a story that seems like it could one day be worthy of a Ninja Sex Party song: College Mascot Accidentally Shoots Himself In Groin With T-Shirt Cannon, Has To Be Carted Off The Field. (Wait, there’s still gonna be a shirt giveaway, though, right?)

+ Four-Bedroom Home Goes on Sale in Hong Kong for $446 Million.

+ Trump urged Spain to ‘build a wall’ across Sahara. (Oh, go pound sand…)