GQ offers A Field Guide to Fitness-Related Plastic Surgery: “Most procedures require one or two weeks of at-home recovery … and patients are barred from strenuous exercise for three weeks.” Not only do you get a shortcut to being ripped, you get a few weeks off from feeling guilty about not exercising.

+ Citing defamation, Roy Moore is suing Sacha Baron Cohen for $95 Million. (I’m not even sure it’s possible to further defame Roy Moore.)

+ BMW Seized From Couple Who Raised $400K for Homeless Man. (This couple can go fund themselves…)

+ Store busted for putting googly eyes on old fish to make them look fresher. (I have no idea if this is real. But I want it to be.)