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Sandy Hingston examines How Millennials Killed Mayonnaise: “I racked my brain for the source of this generational disconnect. And then, one holiday weekend, while surveying the condiments set out at a family burger bash, I found it. On offer were four different kinds of mustard, three ketchups (one made from, I kid you not, bananas), seven sorts of salsa, kimchi, wasabi, relishes of every ilk and hue…” (My kids hate designer ketchup so much that we often bring Heinz with us to new-fangled burger joints. Also, since we’re Jewish, they have no idea what mayonaise is.)

+ Azealia Banks suggested that Elon Musk’s controversy related to taking Tesla private all came about because he was “too stupid to know not to go on Twitter while on acid.” (The only explanations less likely than this one are those we’ve heard so far…)

+ There’s no such thing as a sure thing. Except shark movies.

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