“If you’d like to buy a waterboarding kit autographed by Dick Cheney, today is your lucky day.” And that wasn’t nearly the weirdest part of the second episode of Sacha Baron Cohen’s Who is America? That prize goes to Georgia State Representative Jason Spencer who learned “how to ‘intimidate’ a terrorist with the prospect of homosexuality—by pulling his pants down and running at Baron Cohen, butt-first.” (There are few things that will depress you more about America than watching this show. That said, it’s a must watch.)

+ Medium-bodied, oaky, and just a bit radioactive. Fukushima’s nuclear signature found in California wine. (This article would leave the Paul Giamatti character from Sideways saying, “You know what, just give me the merlot…)

+ “Mechanically separated chicken is a paste created by pressing unstripped chicken bones through a sieve to separate edible meat tissue (including tendons and muscle fibers) from the bones. This paste is then added to those tiny meatball toppings. (Is your mouth watering yet?)” What’s actually in your frozen pizza?