When I apply to the state for my liquor and tobacco licenses each year, they send them to the secretary of the village, which is me. So, I get them as the secretary, sign them as the clerk and give them to myself as the bar owner.” Welcome to Monowi, Nebraska: population 1.

+ “Any moment now the New Kids on the Block are going to appear, and then they’re not going to leave for the next four days.” My days at sea with New Kids on the Block and 3,000 everlasting fans.

+ “The drivers claimed they were ‘coming from very far away and had been stopping and collecting oranges along the way.'”