In her hit song Ironic, Alanis Morissette sings: Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think. A little too ironic… The irony is there really aren’t any examples of irony in her song. In DC, we have an opposite problem. We’ve seen examples of moronic behavior, but we can’t be quite sure whether or not the secretary of state called the president of the United States a moron. Welcome to reality in 2017. Elon Musk has suggested that we’re all living in a simulation. At this point that sounds like wishful thinking. The latest interpersonal spat slash global crisis was sparked by an NBC News report suggesting that Tillerson had referred to Trump as a “moron” and the sec of state required an intervention by the veep to keep from departing. Tillerson denied that he’s ever considered leaving. And about the name-calling: “We don’t deal with that kind of petty nonsense.” The problem, of course, is that his boss spends hours on Twitter dealing out precisely that kind of petty nonsense; even when it comes to issues as serious as North Korea and Puerto Rico. Now that’s ironic.

+ David Ignatius on why Tillerson kissed Trump’s ring today (and why this is a very big story, albeit with some pretty petty details): “Tillerson’s desire to remain on the job is a stabilizing move, at a moment when the United States is locked in a potential nuclear confrontation with North Korea and Trump is headed for a key November meeting in Beijing. Although Tillerson has been a poor public communicator at the State Department, he knows the world and can speak the language of America’s global partners and potential adversaries. His departure now would be widely seen as damaging to America’s already fragile position in a world disrupted by Trump’s erratic policies.”

+ Put more succinctly by GOP Sen Bob Corker: “I think Sec. Tillerson, Sec. Mattis and Chief of Staff Kelly are those people that help separate our country from chaos.”

+ “They owe a lot of money to your friends on Wall Street. We’re going to have to wipe that out. That’s going to have to be — you know, you can say goodbye to that. I don’t know if it’s Goldman Sachs but whoever it is, you can wave goodbye to that.” How Trump’s comments on Puerto Rican debt (since walked back by the White House) made for a wild day in the bond market.