“Suddenly the news was a new kind of friend. The kind who emails you, then texts you immediately to see if you got its email.” One of Conan’s writers searches for the punchline in an era when the news never stops.

+ Cops with weapons and a battering ram showing up at a house for a pot bust might not make for a terribly unique story. But in this case, the house was inhabited by two former CIA employees. And the pot turned out to be a hydroponic tomato garden.