“Literally no one is going to read 5,000 tweets about this trash.” NPR tweeted The Declaration of Independence. And, of course, that made people really mad.

+ Buzzfeed with a particularly American Fourth of July story: “On Saturday, a man accidentally shot himself in the leg at Gettysburg National Military Park in Pennsylvania, where dozens of people had assembled to protest reports of a group allegedly planning to desecrate Confederate graves and burn flags — except it turns out all those reports were a hoax.”

+ Why settle for having food delivered when you can order the whole store? “Like a 7-11 crossed with a driverless tractor-trailer, the Moby Mart is an autonomous and unstaffed mobile retail space that you can call up with your phone like an Uber.” (It’s getting increasingly difficult to tell what is real news and what is an abandoned plot from a Cheech and Chong movie.)