The New Yorker: “Thanks for choosing to stay at my place this weekend! I hope you have a lovely time here. Below are some guidelines for your visit — if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask! Please make yourselves at home and have sex.”

+ “Everyone is also empowered to skip a disliked song by using the app that controls the office’s Sonos speaker system. The rule — ‘Claim your song skipping,’ meaning the person who vetoes a song should publicly acknowledge doing so.” How Sonos in the workplace is giving people something to fight over besides the temperature in the office.

+ Slate: The startup that wants to sell you a subscription to NYC tap water explains itself.

+ A guy from Austin is suing his date for texting during a movie. If he wins the suit, that will certainly be this story’s only happy ending.