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“Hey. I know it’s been a rough couple of years. Obama, Empire, Hamilton It’s just been hit after hit after hit. Star Wars movies where the only white characters are stormtroopers. I get it! It’s been rough! But you’ve got to stop.” It was not an easy time to deliver an SNL monologue. Aziz Ansari hit it out of the park with one of the best openings the show has ever seen.

+ The verdict is. And jade eggs should be kept out of your vagina.

+ AP: “A mysterious Skittles spill on a rural highway in Wisconsin is taking another twist, with Mars Inc. saying it doesn’t know why the discarded candy might have been headed to become cattle feed.” (I used this story to get my kids to drink more milk this morning.)

+ The new Star Wars movie has a name: The Last Jedi.