Bottom of the News

“My body was her gearstick.” Yes, it’s that time of year again. Here are the contenders for the bad fictional sex award. (Some days, even fictional sex seems like a longshot.)

+ Why do we bite our nails? (I mean aside from reacting to the feeling that our republic is imploding.)

+ Why do fast food restaurants test new menu items in Ohio? (I am so sick of swing states…)

+ A guy stole a credit card and then was caught on video as he used it to buy a home security camera. Someone should tell this guy that irony is dead. There’s no point trying to resuscitate it.