Bottom of the News

“We’re looking for a talented, driven, career-oriented individual who’s willing to give up on their dreams for the betterment of this hip, multinational tech corporation. If you’re looking to smile on the outside while dying a slow, grueling death on the inside — this is the job for you.” McSweeney’s Joe Eichner writes a job description: Seeking Failed Artists For Associate Position. (Let me just add, newsletter-writing experience a plus…)

+ Scientists may have discovered the gene that causes hair to turn gray. A lot of hipsters and celebrities would pay top dollar for that information these days…

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