“Surprise! I’m still alive!” From WaPo: Wife crashes her own funeral, horrifying her husband, who had paid to have her killed. (This is going to be some marriage counselor’s greatest challenge.)

+ Surprise: A Kale salad from McDonald’s. Surprise: It has more calories than a Double Big Mac.

+ A food surgeon performs surgery on an Oreo.

+ A pro-rape idiot wanted to have a meet-up with some of his fellow idiots. But it got canceled when The Toronto Newsgirls announced they planned to attend. They are a female boxing club.