“I am a fat f*ck. A frail, pale, jellied, six-foot-one, 222-pound, forty-inch-waisted, Barney-shaped 36-year-old with great braidable hanks of back hair and unholy places—folds and hollows other than the navel that ought not collect lint, but do.” Several years ago, the excellent Andrew Corsello set out to see if he could achieve a ripped, beach-body in just three months. He found a trainer who said it could be done. GQ has finally put this excellent story online: How I Got My Beach Body. This is a funny and insightful piece that I hope to forget by dinner.

+ NYT: When Some Turn to Church, Others Go to CrossFit. (Insert Soul Cycle joke.)