“I can’t even. I am unable to even. I have lost my ability to even. I am so unable to even. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!” Is your teenager unable to think clearly and communicate? Or are they just using an increasingly garbled code to keep you from knowing what they’re talking about? NYT’s Amanda Hess on teenspeak in the age of social media. “Their speech is the site of rebellion, and their slang provides shelter from adult scrutiny. Guarding the secret code has become tricky, though.” (That totally barfs me out.)