It’s a wildly over-covered and seemingly meaningless story. And we hate ourselves for following it. So there’s only one solution. Let’s go deeper. FiveThirtyEight dissects the deflategate report.

+ OK, now that you’re warmed up, let’s snap it up a bit: Stats show the New England Patriots became nearly fumble-proof after 2006 rule change proposed by Tom Brady. (He’s upsettingly handsome, disturbingly successful, and married to Gisele. And you’re gonna hate on Tom Brady because of the ball thing?)